Ao says that march is cruise month and that we should “take it to the beach.”  I just follow.  I think Ao is becoming an alchoholic.  Journeys god does a walking drunk impression in absolute silence that just send journey and I falling all over laughing.  Ao saw it and she laughs too.  I am guilty for a second and hope she takes it good.  She takes it good.  I feel guilty that she took it good.

“I just, the kids thing.  What is like the minimum of life experience before the whole earth incubator thingy you have going needs to be re done, like, you have to go again?”

“You lucky I am god and can understand your mish mash language that you camouflage as English.”

“Yeah so, How old did we need to get for the whole incubator thing to work?”

“Well, it’s not so much age as much as inception.”

“You mean concieveing?  God!  Was abortion murder!?”

“Yes, it’s killing, but no you didn’t need to be born to metamorphose.”

“Oh my god.”

“We didn’t need to love or forgive or have kids in order to make it through?  Is that right?”

“Yep.”  It’s just a cup to mix two fluids in.  You pour that new fluid into a different container and let it fester, then pull the growth out and wring it out, then dry it.  That dry stuff can be rolled and then smoked.” My god says all straight faced.

“Some horrible shit went down god.  People were burned alive.”

“Yep.” He says.  “Fire sucks but also, all of this comes from it.”

“I must not be getting anywhere cuz that is still a real big deal to me.”

“Your getting somewhere.”


“I’m Concerned.  I think we are all becoming alcoholics.” But Journeys god just did a drunk face and we all laughed and over faked our drunk as if to unconvinced ourselves.  My heaven was getting ugly.  Lots a people means trash.  I looked over the pier.  The water was a deep cold green.  I could swear I saw a gold sewage pipe coming out of the gold wall just a few feet under water.  Everything moves forward in heaven.  I have a dual life again.  The life among friends, my life with god, the things I only share with Journey when we banish our gods and sit in his room and turn off the lights and play Godspeed you black emperor and look at his glow in the dark stars on the ceiling.  We got 135 days before someone dies that we know, it’s me, it’s my mom.  I dread it like death itself.  I love her but this is my heaven.  I remember the dreams I had of this place when I lived.  I imagine her staring at a bright light far off, singing glory halleluiah and looking up at low flying angels.  I think of the spring that cannot give good and bad water.  I think of the outer darkness reserved for the godless.  I wonder if my mom will see me in heaven.  I wonder if she will go drinking with Ao and Journey and I and our gods.  I wonder if she will see us all in robes, waving, happy, simple, free to never worry again.  I wonder if she will like that grandpa is here.


I suggest the building of a God Obstacle Course.  To keep people off the booze and working on the real important stuff like realizing the truth and getting real and motivating themselves to become and all that shit.  The obstacle course is a series of tables with a chair on each side facing each other.  Candidates move though the course, taking the seat against others further along than they are, and through brain fuckery they get their serious on and knock all this horseshit off that seems like fun and games and no responsibility.

God is wearing a t-shirt that says brain fuckery in a circle with a line through it.  I wish I had that t shirt on earth.

“Problem.” Gad says to me.

“Problem?  God, I hope you’re not a problems but no solutions god.  Really?  Problems?  What?”

“No one is farther along than anyone else.”



“Moses?  Really? I expected him to be out past joifoifara, handing the “Other People” their assess.  He is so old testament.  I just, No?  He is not farther along?  Is this an eternity thing again?”

“No, I am kidding.  Moses is all god now and rockin it somewhere far far away from here.”

“Yeah, he should be.”


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