My cat fell

My cat fell, I think, in the laundry room.  Anyway, it was that or he pulled something down and it fell, or my cat fell with it.  I didn’t run in there right away.  I think that is important.  It is so loud I didn’t run in there right away.  Its like a story I heard, or maybe it was a scene from a movie where there is a loud noise and every ones instinct is to look at it but to run away also, well that was my instinct about it too.

I went in there eventually, not like days eventually but hours eventually.  The impossibility of the noise, that’s why I went in there, not to investigate it.  When I went back inside after I received no sympathy from the neighbor, when I went back in and I made it close enough to the laundry room, there was the cat.  The cat was ok but the noise from everything falling is just so incredible.

I apologized at first.  I called the number you gave me too, when I first rented from you, when you gave me the number to call you at and the number for repairs.  I called the number for repairs.  Fix the noise, I thought.  It seemed silly then but not now.  Can you fix the noise?  He was of no help of course.  I was rude to him, you should know that too.  I was just so angry.  How does a noise like that stop as soon as there is someone there?  I blamed him but it was not entirely his fault.  I mean it’s his fault if the noise stops when he is here and he came to fix the noise and when he leaves the noise returns?  I am sure you will agree that in that sense it IS his fault.

I asked the Mormons in to look at it too.  You should ask them.  I am sure that you will, that you may do some sort of corroborating with this, you may have to.  You’ll want to talk to them about it too.  I don’t know their names, the missionaries, but how many could there be in this town.  I know that you will think what they thought at first.  I know that, but I had to have the radio up and the TV and the computer, I had to, to drown out that horrible crashing.  It would not though, you should know that.  I mean, of course you will try to drown it out yourself when you get here, when you come inside I mean, when you come in and hear the noise.  It never drowned anything.  It just made it so I could hear something else instead of that horrific avalanche of crashing and noise.

So of course that’s what the Mormons thought.  That’s what you think too right now I bet.  Well good luck making the noise go away with music.  Also, they might, when you find and ask them, be concerned that I made no rush to quiet things down, well I didn’t.  I really saw no point.  They would be gone soon and then I would have to go back around and turn everything back up, find just the right volume that would not blow my speakers again (expensive) and not be so loud as to be unnecessary.  They left soon and so, well, point made.

I should tell you also that I no longer have the cat.  In case you might just be so uninformed as to think the cat made all that noise in the sense that it made it with its mouth or what have you.  Of course the cat made the noise, it fell, or caused things to fall, so yes it is the source of all of this, but no, this noise, this cacophony is not cat noise.

If no one will fix it, how can I be held responsible, I meant to say that earlier.  Also, I meant to start the letter off real, or like a real letter so here, Dear Mr Riley, The noise is being caused by my cat, who fell.  I understand you thinking this is a problem that will be fixed by this eviction but you’re wrong.  I will leave of course, I won’t stay where I am not wanted, but, but.

I would wish you luck in finding another person who will be as ingenious and tolerant about the noise but you won’t find someone and the condolence will seem more sarcasm than genuine and I am genuine.

I should say also that I, by staying as long as I have and putting us both through this, well this legal mess, well I felt it my due diligence since, as I admit, as I have offered and admitted, that it was my cat that fell, that it was my cat, my cat was the source of the noise, my cat began it at least.

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